Parenting Children With Special Needs Tougher
Than Being Prime Minister, Says Tony Blair
Leading a nation may be a tough job, but it's not as tough as parenting a child with special needs.
That observation was made today by Tony Blair as he announced his upcoming resignation as prime minister of Great Britain. As mentioned on the BBC's Ouch disability blog, Blair made this statement toward the end of his speech:
"People often say to me: 'It's a tough job' - not really. A tough life is the life the young severely disabled children have and their parents, who visited me in Parliament the other week."
And it's nice of him to say so, I guess. Although, am I the only one who's uncomfortable with disabilities, and parenting kids with them, being lifted up as paradigms of hardness, like brain surgery or rocket science? Maybe they really are harder than being a political leader, though, if only because you can't resign when the going gets tough.
What do you think? Do statements like this give brave people deserved recognition, or make children with disabilities seem like the heaviest burdens in the world? Share your thoughts in the comments.
Comments
It’s both… There are going to be people who pause and consider the situation now, and understand how draining it might be. And there are people who will look at our kids as being far, far too difficult to bother learning how to care for - after all, running a whole country is easier!
That’s how it always is, isn’t it, and we learn early. When someone asks ‘How are you?’ do they really want to know, to care and understand, or is it going to be an excuse to look down at you through the magnifying glass?
It’d be nice if we could talk to *just* the people who can bring compassion to bear, instead of those who’ll see us as a curiousity, to be peered at or reviled.
I think more positive than negative comes from observations like Blair’s. After all, he’s heard from these parents — they told him themselves how tough their lives were. As someone who have non-disabled children before I had my son with severe disabilities, I can say that parenting him is a lot harder than parenting the other children — emotionally, physically, financially. It is taking significant amount of time also because he has to be homeschooled as there is nothing appropriate for him in the school system.
I love my son very much, and I tell him so every day. But I’d be lying if I pretended it wasn’t a very, very tough job.
I think we should assume positive intent when people recognize the efforts of those with special needs and their families. They may not word things appropriately, but neither do I!!! His intent was to recognize that there are more important things than his political career. We certainly want to be given the benefit of the doubt by those we come in contact with–let’s do the same for others.
It is both very difficult, and the most loving feeling any parent can have. I commend Tony Blair for acknowledging the difficult job for both the child with special needs and the caretaker. In my case it is mentall illness, and we need politicians to give a voice, to become advocates. Si I say “brilliant” to Tony Blair
I agree with the comments above. I have a bigger problem with other parents who don’t understand how much more difficult everything is for me to do with my son that it is for them with their kids. I get tired and occasionally overwhelmed and most people don’t get it. I don’t want to dwell on the negatives all the time, but sometimes I so want to just shout, “You have no idea!” I appreciate Tony Blair’s mentioning this. Where can I get a copy of the speech to hand out to the neighbours?
I agree with previous comments, I think Tony Blair was really just showing perspective, after all it just depends what your frame of reference is. As a parent of a disabled child it’s a 24 hour comittment, and no you can’t resign (at times I want to). It was interesting that of all the special interest groups he has met over his time in office special needs challenges came to mind. Regardless, “brain surgery”, “rocket science” not it isn’t these things but it can sap your physical and mental strength, destroys your marriage and eat away at all your available resources.
I agree with the other comments - esp Rachel’s. Most others don’t “get it” because the “disorder” isn’t apparent to the usual bystander. It is nice to be recognized that life IS different - life IS harder for all of us (kiddos included) but one secret: It IS better too.