Does Your Child Have an "Autism Whisperer"?
Actress Jenny McCarthy has been making the talk-show rounds to talk about her son's autism, appearing on Oprah this past Tuesday and on The View next week, with many stops along the way. She's also the subject of a People magazine article in the October 1 issue. Lisa Jo Rudy, About.com's autism guide, has some information on the interventions McCarthy has been promoting.
What's caught my eye today is a quote from that People article that's been making the rounds, about the relationship between McCarthy's son, Evan, and her boyfriend, actor Jim Carrey. An Associated Press story quotes her as saying: "He's actually helped Evan get past some obstacles I couldn't. I sometimes call him the autism whisperer. He speaks a language Evan understands, and Evan feels safe with him."
While that assessment makes me think well of Carrey, it also makes me think about a person in my son's life who also connects with him in a special way. This "uncle" (actually a close family friend) can spend hours playing pretend with my son, something I'm sorry to say I don't usually have the patience for. My son writes out scripts to act out with him, usually lines from the movie Shiloh, and that and other routines involving getting in and out of cars occupy their time.
I guess you could say he speaks a language my son understands, and my son feels safe with him.
That's something I'd wish for every special-needs child, and I wonder if sometimes it's easier for someone slightly outside the family to fill that role. Parents are so immersed in the day to day hassles, it's hard to just let go and simply be with our kids. For "normal" kids, I think, that role is often taken up by a best friend, but special-needs kids don't always have that kind of access to or understanding from their peers.
Does your child have a non-parent friend who just "gets" him or her -- an "autism whisperer," or (in our case) an "FASD whisperer," or whatever diagnosis you're dealing with? Share your experience in the comments.
Photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images
My son used to have a friend like that. He was also a friend of the family, and was able to spend hours playing with Jalen, freeing me up to attend to the needs of my other children, or simply relax. He did really “get” Jalen.
Unfortunately, he died of ALS. This was very difficult for the entire family. However, I started doing some of the things I saw him do, and that helped. I now have other adult friends who relate to Jalen when they’re around — but not at the intensity of that old friend. Still, Jalen is thriving — his brother and his brother’s friends are very good with him.