How to Explain Your Child's Autism Level

High-functioning autism (HFA), now called autism with low support needs, can be tricky to explain to others, as the autism traits may not be as obvious as they often appear in autistic children with more intense traits and high support needs. People may notice certain behaviors in your child but just think your child is "odd," which can be stigmatizing and hurtful.

All autistic people have challenges with social communication and tend to engage in repetitive, intensely focused behaviors. Those with low support needs—formerly called Asperger's syndrome, and sometimes known as "mild autism"—tend to be intelligent and capable as well. Hence, it may not always be obvious to people in your child's life that they aren't neurotypical.

This article discusses why it can be hard to explain autism with low support needs, and whether and when it's in your child's best interest to disclose their autism diagnosis.

Why "Mild" Autism Is Confusing

Autistic people with low support needs often appear neurotypical in certain situations but not in others. Repetitive talking, pacing, or rocking (stimming) can be calming for an autistic child with low support needs, but confusing or upsetting to people who don't know about or understand it.

Here are a few examples of what autism with low support needs can look like:

• A bright, articulate child collapses in tears because the bus is late.
• A good student fails to complete a test because it's in a different location from the one they expected.
• A college student is unable to attend lectures because the lights in the room are too bright.
• An employee "stalks" an office mate because they don't understand their subtle attempts to say "I'm not interested."
• A teenager, invited to an informal event with their peers, comes dressed in a suit and tie.

It can be very surprising and unsettling to see these behaviors that seem to come from out of the blue. People who aren't aware of someone's autism diagnosis can be insulted or angry, thinking that the behavior is intentional.

While many people would argue that autism should always be disclosed, there are reasons why someone would choose not to do so. For example, some teachers, professors, and employers have anxieties about interacting with people who have developmental differences; thus, a disclosure could have a negative impact on interactions, grades, and evaluations.

In addition, autistic children with low support needs may be denied the opportunity to be part of a general peer group and instead put into "autism-only" settings.

Telling Your Child About Their Diagnosis

Many autistic children with low support needs are included in mainstream classes and can handle a wide range of typical activities. Some parents worry that by telling an autistic child about their diagnosis, they're opening the door to trouble. Might the child lean on the diagnosis when challenges appear? Might their self-esteem suffer when they hear they have a diagnosable difference?

There's no one right answer. Knowing they have a diagnosis may make a child feel like there is something "wrong" with them or feel stigmatized. On the other hand, autistic children generally know that they are different and may feel relieved to be able to put a name to their challenges and seek out settings where they'll have a sense of belonging.

Autistic kids are diagnosed at different ages ranging from toddlerhood to adolescence, so the discussion of what to disclose will likely be impacted by the age of the child. Both a child’s age and developmental level should be factors when talking about the child’s diagnosis and considering how to share this information.

Disclosing Your Child's Autism to Others

There's always the possibility that a coach, club leader, or other adult will have reservations about including an autistic child. Many adults have very little experience with autism and may feel they can't offer appropriate support. Should a parent explain their child's autism up front? Or should they take a wait-and-see approach?

One approach is a "partial disclosure." For example, if a child is taking part in a karate class, they may do well most of the time but react strongly if there's a change in the routine. In that case, it might be useful to explain to the instructor that they might need to warn the child before class about any changes. In this way, you are addressing the issue without revealing the diagnosis.

If you choose to reveal your child's diagnosis, make sure to point out that, like all people, their autistic child has both strengths and challenges. (Use the word "challenges" instead of "weaknesses," because challenges are things you can address.) Then talk about the accommodations and types of support that can be implemented to help your child thrive.