Make an Emergency Behavior Chart

We're starting into a dangerous time of year now. Next week is Thanksgiving. (Next week! How is that possible!) From there, it's just one thing after another that will test our children's ability to be patient and quiet and calm and organized, clear through the start of the new year. Bah, humbug!

When you're working under exceptional circumstances like that, sometimes you have to employ exceptional strategies. Whereas, during less stressful times of year, you might be encouraging your child to work toward goals and earn points on a behavior chart for weekly pay-off, during the holiday season you may want to make rewards as immediate, frequent, and reassuring as possible.

One technique I've used successfully with my scoodgy son is an Emergency Behavior Chart. Instead of putting up stars and checkmarks on a daily basis and waiting for weekly glory, the emergency chart -- oftentimes just a chart in my mind, not on paper -- delivers motivating goodies in tiny time intervals, even as little as five minutes. Every five minutes of church quietly sat through, say, he gets a sticker. Every five minutes of grocery-store sanity he allows me, a handful of mints is his.

It's not, perhaps, the best technique for teaching long-term self-control and delayed gratification. But desperate times call for desperate measures.