A mom posted in the Parenting Special Needs Forum a while back about a good IEP meeting, and how great it was to hear her child was doing great. But another parent wrote in this week with a warning: "My school district tells everyone their kids are 'great' so they don't have to pay for more services. We're in the process of going broke fighting our district because they say my kid is doing 'great' and they are lying."
The original poster has replied to assure that indeed, in this case "great" means "great," and that's great. But I've also experienced good reports from school personnel that weren't really good. In our case, it involved Child Study Team members assuring me that my daughter was "flying," while keeping the same stagnant IEP goals going year after year.
Has your experience with "great" been great? Or have you found enthusiasm over your child's progress to be some sleight-of-hand to distract you from school inaction on the one hand or lack of progress on the other? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Illustration by Terri Mauro
Since I am the OP for this subject, I’d like to add a few things. I completely understand that not everyone has had a good experience with their child’s resource team, but do you think that maybe…JUST maybe..there are people out there (teachers & school districts) that actually WANT to help the students. For me, from the get-go, my son’s school did what they could to help him. I wasn’t sure what to do when my son wasn’t doing so well, and they stepped in and helped us by giving my son his evaluation, then taking the proper steps to get him into resource, and giving him his IEP. Now if I’m correct, they didn’t even have to give him an IEP, they could have given him a 504 plan…but they didn’t. They chose to help my son. Now I’m also aware of the fact that maybe they don’t want to spend anymore money on my son and tell me that he doesn’t need resource anymore. If this is true, they will have a fight on their hands. But personally, and maybe this is ignorance on my part, but with everything that we have been through with this particular district has been nothing but positive. They continue to give my son goals, sometimes he meets them, other times he doesn’t. But from the meetings that we have had, it seems that everyone is working toward one goal…and that is getting my son the help that he needs. They haven’t shown me otherwise. I don’t know, I guess I like to look at the glass as half full, and believe that these people are going to do their jobs, and help my son.
So sorry, Toni, I in no way meant to suggest that your perception of your experience was any different than you believe it is. You’re the one in that room dealing with those people, and it is absolutely possible that they are doing their jobs and helping your child.
I’ve had kids in special education for about a dozen years now, and I’ve been up and down, optimistic and cynical, in varying cycles all through it. Overall, in general, I’ve had a good experience, and I have usually felt that people were sincere and doing their jobs. I’ve had disagreements, and I’ve seen good people limited by district politics, but in general, my kids have been appropriately served.
The one thing I’ve learned the most is to trust, but verify. Even good people with good intentions can slip, but when there’s a parent there to cheerfully and respectfully ask questions and follow-up, it happens less.
I understand what you meant, and I understand what the person responding to my post was saying also. I feel for the people who’s school isn’t helping their child. No one, parent or child, should have to deal with frustration like that. The person responding to my post was warning me-sometimes things that look to good to be true, are just that. But like I said, I’m optomistic, and if I feel that something is a miss, we’ll deal with it. I guess I just think it’s sad that special needs families don’t always get the proper education that they need. It’s down-right disgusting to me that these people call themselves educators, but what it really comes down to, is the almighty dollar. I guess I’m just thankful that I’m not dealing with that. Sorry for the rant, this is just a subject that I’m pretty passionate about.
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I feel like crying with joy to read that someone’s kid is getting good support.
My son’s school wants to be supportive. In some ways, they’re even doing a good job.
In others, not so much, but it seems to be a matter of not really understanding what’s needed, and still waiting for an IEP to detail required assistance. The feedback we’re getting from the school contradicts itself regularly, which actually seems to fairly accurately reflect my mercurial boy. 
I don’t think the school is making things work for my son, but their hearts are in the right place, and it might get good once they really understand how things are for him.