"Go Away" Only Goes One Way

My son's at that age when he wants to be alone. A lot. He shuts his door. He does not welcome visitors. Particularly visitors who do not knock. He dives to turn off his iPod when we come in, even though I know exactly what's on there and it's nothing incriminating. We break his concentration, his intense communion with the music. He's not at all shy about telling us to "Go away!"

And you know, I respect that. He's a teenager. He needs his space. A certain amount of freshness is to be expected. When you've got a kid as developmentally off-kilter as he is, you take age-appropriateness where you can get it.

So why is it that, when he's hanging over my shoulder when I'm trying to concentrate on something, and playing with the dog right under my computer keyboard tray and I have to tell him to "Go away!" I feel like the worst mother in the world?

Shouldn't a certain amount of freshness from parent to teen be expected as well?

Would be nice, but that doesn't keep him from looking at me like an abandoned toddler, and perseverating in a melancholy way on phrases like, "Mom needs you to go away now. Mom doesn't want you around. Mom never wants to see you again."

He's not playing fair, here, is what I think. But of course, I'm always the loser. Sure feel like one, anyway.

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_{Photo by Terri Mauro}