What Have You Got to Be Thankful For?

Holiday season is now upon us, and with it all manner of worries about managing our kids through a sensory-overload, party-potholed, routine-busting, bad-behavior-baiting time of year. It's a time for giving thanks, but it's hard to focus on what's good about your child when you're so busy micromanaging to keep what's bad from getting worse.

Though you may not be able to get through a church service without fleeing, enjoy a family gathering without caustic comments, hit the mall without a meltdown, watch a school pageant without panic, dress your child up without stress, or throw a party without planning more for your child than the guests, you can still grab some moments in all the hustle and hullabaloo to reflect on the things that make you thankful for your child. No, really. Here are five opportunities to grab some gratitude.

1. Look at photos with your child. Whether they're in albums or on the computer, take a few minutes to sit with your child and browse through images of holidays past. Kids love looking at themselves, and seeing your child in earlier days will remind you how much progress has been made, in a way that's hard to remember when you're constantly running. If you have the capacity to make a slide-show DVD from your digital photos, it can be a good way to create a sentimental portrait of your child to share with loved ones, and watch yourself when you need to remember why you do what you do.

2. Read some holiday storybooks. Reading together is a great way to engineer the kind of calm bonding moments that make you glad you're a parent. If you've fallen out of your reading routine due to the extra time-crunch of holiday happenings, use some fun holiday storybooks to tempt you both back to the couch. Schedule library outings to look for books, if your child can tolerate it; otherwise, bring home some special surprises on a regular basis and snuggle in to read together. Books on Thanksgiving and giving thanks may give you both something to think about.

3. Make some home decorations. There are plenty of simple kid-crafts that put a high emphasis on thankfulness. Make a turkey like the one my son did above -- with thankful things on each of the hand-shaped feathers -- or cut strips of paper in holiday colors, write a thing you're thankful for on each one, and form them into a chain to hang on a tree or around a doorway. As you urge your child to think thankfully, jot your own blessings down on some paper strips, too.

4. Seek some inspiration. For the holidays, release yourself from your normal book stack of parenting primers, and read a memoir or story collection designed to uplift rather than weigh down. Start with the listing of inspiration and humor books reviewed for the Harried Parent's Book Club -- and if even a book or a story requires more of a time commitment than you can afford, read one of my Love Notes for Special Parents when you get a sec just to remind yourself of the strengths and talents you've gained by being the parent of a child with special needs.

5. Share with others the thanks-worthy things about your child. In these days when comedians and radio personalities and filmmakers take potshots at children with special needs, and when advances in genetic testing are aimed at preventing children like many of ours from ever being born, it becomes more important than ever for us to express the value our children have to our families and our society. It can be hard for those who never meet our children, or see them only at their worst, to imagine us ever being "thankful" for what appears to be a burden; it's our job to spread that wisdom and shine that light. I've set up a page on this site for you to share what you're thankful for about your child with special needs. Perhaps having to think of something to post there is the best way to realize that the holiday season has some blessings for you, too. Write now!

Read more: Special Needs News | Site of the Day | Start a Thanksgiving Tradition