Show Your Thanks by Giving a Helping Hand to Other Parents

Do you remember the first time somebody told you something that helped you understand your child? Maybe it was another parent in a support group or e-mail list, maybe it was a blogger or website writer, maybe it was an author of a book you couldn't put down because it told the story of your life. Maybe it was a doctor, but more likely it was a parent who is living what you're living and has lived to tell the tale.

It's a good indication of the kind of information parents get from doctors that a law had to be passed -- the Prenatally and Postnatally Diagnosed Conditions Awareness Act -- to make sure they gave out balanced and up-to-date information to expectant parents. The U.S. Congress had to enact a law, now, in 2008, to ensure that doctors would not be all gloom-and-doom about Down syndrome and other disabilities diagnosed in the womb. I wonder if they'll follow through with the same sort of enthusiasm and thoroughness that most of us bring to things enforced by law, like obeying the speed limit and paying our taxes.

Doctors are trained to see the worst in any situation, to foresee damage and malfunction and heartbreak. They don't see the big picture the way parents do, and maybe that's why parents tend to be the best resource for one another -- researching and finding solutions and explanations and inspiration and maybe a few laughs to get through the day. With genetic testing detecting more and more disabilities before birth, and more and more children receiving diagnoses for things like autism and ADHD and food allergies, it becomes more important than ever for parents who have become experts to share their expertise with those just receiving the diagnosis.

To make that a little easier, I've added a feature on my "First Five Things to Do After Your Child Is Diagnosed" lists for various disabilities that allows you to add your tips to it. Follow these three steps:

• Pick a diagnosis from this list and go to that First Five fact sheet.
• Read my suggestions, then look for the words "Tell Your Tips." You may see a text box ready to go, or you may have to click on the "Tell Your Tips" link to open the box.
• Add your advice to parents just grappling with a diagnosis you've come to know so well.

Recommend that book that opened your eyes, that e-mail list that gets you through the day, that website you refer to constantly. Pass on that behavioral technique or school accommodation or therapy breakthrough. You are a more useful expert to parents struggling with a new diagnosis than any doctor or specialist or therapist. Tell how you did it, and how they can do it, too.

As we enter this season of gratitude and giving, show your thanks for those who helped you by helping others. Take a few minutes this Thanksgiving weekend to pass on a tip or two. The best testimony we can give to the fact that our children have value is to speak up for them and others with special needs and say, "Your life is not over. This is what you can do."

Let's assemble an amazing resource together.

Read more: Special Needs News | Site of the Day | Researching a Diagnosis

_{Image by Terri Mauro}