Defending The Amazing Race's Margie and Luke
On Monday, I asked in a blog post for comments on the latest episode of The Amazing Race, which had drawn some harsh comments for the team of Luke, a young adult who is deaf, and his mother, Margie. The criticism I've read sounded like a familiar "blame the parent for sticking up for her kid" routine, but since I hadn't seen the episode, I wanted to hear from someone who had.
And to the rescue comes Pam Wilson, who writes about special needs for Bella Online and has been viewing The Amazing Race right along. I'll quote part of her lengthy and informative comment here, but you should go read the rest on the post itself. Of the conflict over Luke and Margie's behavior, Pam wrote:
Some viewers online commented that it was wrong for Margie to tell Luke what the other contestant called him when his back was turned -- what’s up with that? Luke is a grown man, not a child to be protected from adult communications. If someone was serving as my interpreter, I would expect them to let me know what was said in my presence behind my back, and would be furious if I found out later they did not.
Others viewers have commented Margie was out of line for railing against another contestant for laughing at Luke when he was signing -- no consideration of disability etiquette there, either, to put it mildly. ‘Natural’ reactions or calculated responses to irritate other contestants are greatly magnified when seen by people who are deaf, and I don’t think anyone considered that at all. The differences in gestures and expressions meant to communicate degrees of feelings and beliefs leaves less room for subtly expressing strong feelings, and quicker recognition of ‘non-verbal’ cues. The other team did not seem to understand the depth of the insult of laughing while Luke was signing, and neither did the host. All behavior is communication, and I appreciate the clarity of the messages from Margie and Luke.
I felt that in the circumstances, Margie showed remarkable restraint. I felt disregard was shown for deaf culture in general and Luke in particular. I can’t remember a time when I regretted standing up for my son, but there are many times I regret I did not.
If you saw the episode also, I'd love to hear your take on this situation. If you could add your comments to the original post, it would help to keep the conversation going.
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I agree with your comments.
It’s very disappointing to see online how people have turned against margie and luke.
It shows how people are ignorant of deafness. For Luke physical language is the only one he has, if he felt pushed the only reaction he knows is to respond with his body. It’s not like he’s gonna shout WOW Slow Down girl.
Whether or not he reacted
This has nothing to do with deafness. It has to do with how Margie and Luke are playing the game, Luke is a punk and a putz and Margie is his enabler. These two have taken a sympathetic situation where most of America would have liked to see them win and turned it around. Now they are the villains and it is their own doing. Margie’s ridiculous claims that Jen was laughing at Luke take the cake.
Incident #1 — Jen bumping into Luke’s back in their rush to get the clue. Luke flung his elbow in Jen’s face which narrowly missed. The girl called Luke a “bitch”.
Incident #2 — Luke body checked the girl at the second clue box, almost knocking her over from behind. However, Luke claims that it was the girl who rushed into him again. Margie bravely backed her son’s claims that Luke was pushed on BOTH occasions. Video footage played in slow-motion clearly showed Luke to be the aggressor on one if not both cases.
We should not let Luke’s handicap prejudice our objectiveness.
It has nothing to do with discrimination. Luke is a poorly behaved and overly protected baby who does shady things and then trying to turn around and play the sympathy card.
Luke is the meanest unique/handicapped person ever to feature in the entire history of the Amazing Race. I used to root for them but grew more disgusted with their antics as the season unfolds.
It seems like on the one hand Margie wants Luke to be treated as if he is not “special” while on the other hand she wants he to be treated “special”. Luke seems to be special alright, I don’t think he presents a positive image of the deaf. He appears spoiled and unsportsmanlike (remember these were the only ones who did the blind u-turn, everyone else figured that anyone behind them were not a threat, but they did). Very sad, Margie and Luke make be very angry.
Luke behaves baddly. Deafness is a disability but, as far as we’re aware, his deafness is his only disability — he doesn’t have any (diagnosed) behavioural problems or issues otherwise, does he?
He’s a terrible role model for deaf individuals and he behaves more like a 10 year old child than someone his own age. Living with deafness must be a huge challenge, but it does not justify the way he manhandled the women on this show… with such force. Luke needs to grow up. However, his attitude does make it interesting to watch the show. However, he has demonstrated poor sportsmanship, which is why I hope that him and his mother will not win.
Everyone on the Amazing Race shows bad sportsmanship at some point or other. I think Margie did the right think in letting Luke know what they said, and in taking up for her child. I would have done the same thing. However, I have learned the hard way to get both sides of the story before making that accusation jump/battle. Luke behaved like a typical child -doing something wrong and blaming someone else for it because he knew his mom would take his side. Margie needs to cut the cord (or at least fray it) and Luke handle his own matters. I’m sure it was the editing, but he was shown to walk away while his mom continued the fight. Would he have done that if she wasn’t around?
I started out as a Luke and Margie fan but what I have seen lately makes me think Luke is a bully using his disability to hide his mean streak and Margie is his enabler. Shame on you both. Another example was tonight, May 3….. at the begining of the show (within the first 5 minutes) you see Luke running out of his way heading towards one of the sisters to bump her. Also, his mother using he “race card” to the sisters was uncalled for. Furthermore, using his disability for sympathy really was a turn off.
I saw the whole episode and agree with what -me- said: it is clear that Luke is the aggressor on the 2nd incident. That’s why I lost my sympathy to this team after seeing Margie emotionally blamed Jen for both incidents. It became clearer that Margie has lost her objectivity when she started accusing the girls. Moreover, in the next episodes Margie still spoke ill of the girls in the next episode to Jamie & Kara; it’s good that Victor plays a good gentleman by explaining that Kisha has apologized
As a mother, I understand Margie’s instink to protect her son. However, Margie has to start to realize that Luke is a grown up man, which doesn’t act his age. Deaf or not, I think it is inappropriate for a man to push a girl. Deaf or not, it is also inappropriate for a man to continue speaking ill on his competitor in the next episodes, and next, and next. Forgive and move on, man! Find another way to beat the girl in the next leg instead of bitching around!
I live in Asia, and this is not the first time I saw a deaf man participated in Amazing Race. The winning team of The Amazing Race Asia Season 2 consists of ADRIAN YAP, a deaf man from Singapore. But Adrian never played mommy’s boy like Luke. He played nice, always full of smile, EVEN THOUGH he & his partner Collin never won any leg until the Leg#9.
Luke really needs to learn from Adrian. Or at least he should learn from Mark & Michael, his competitors. Mark & Michael also have disabilities with their short height. But did they highlight their disability and easily feel insulted with the “natural” behavior of others? I didn’t see any during the whole season.
I watched The Amazing Race Asia too, and I remember Adrian! That team is so sweet and humble. They never used the “deaf card” or bad-mouthing other team.
See a related article here: http://star-ecentral.com/news/story.asp?file=/2008/2/18/tvnradio/20349344&sec=tvnradio
It’s clear that Luke did not exhibit sportsman like behavior for reasons that have already been stated. I’m glad he did not win this season of the Amazing Race. Karma is one fierce woman and I think Luke forgot that she watches everything
Margie and Luke came in third during the final episode of The Amazing Race. Luke helped the second place team finish their task before he did. But it was his appreciation for his mother learning and using sign language that was the most moving moment for me. I hope that families of young children (and grown adults, for that matter) realize the importance of that effort and act of love.
It’s important to remember that the deaf person perceives the world very differently. Therefore, many behaviors that seem odd or unusual are due to their lifetime of being outside the hearing world and not the result of intentional rudeness or bad behavior, and most certainly not the result of “improper parenting”.
I read some of the comments here and it seems like most of the people who posted the comments are so perfect and so right. It seems like no one make a mistake in their lives and they wouldn’t do anything extreme to get 1million dollars. (yeah right)
So let’s be realistic here, people are on the race for a million dollars,I’ve seen really bad and annoying people in different seasons who would do anything to get the money.
The problem here is; everybody who is criticizing them, DID NOT see Luke as a human being, but as a handicapped person. It’s like they see him in a different category than them and judge him for using that to be treated special. (not true)
I feel sorry for everybody who think like that.
It was a game and people behave bad and loose the control sometimes, but just stop and think how hard it should be to not be able to talk, ask, communicate and do things quicker or even just trying to EXPLAIN something that was misunderstood without his mom help. (stressful)
In the end it’s just a game and they are a family. She was not spoiling him, she was being his mom. Some people forget who they are when there’s money on the way,they don’t care about feelings or the relationship. They were just being mom and son.
Margie and Luke is a special team, and he proved he can do the same as anyone else…and even better! Otherwise they wouldn’t make to the final!
For those who are saying that Luke body checked that black girl for no apparent reason, it was because she was shoving him in the leadup to the clue box.
I wanted to slap their faces when they were laughing at Luke….who does that??? They would never disrespect a hearing persons’ communication in such a way….