I've been behind in watching TV this new season, and just this morning got around to watching the second episode of Grey's Anatomy. Both this and the first episode had a plotline near to my heart -- a mother fighting for a sick child, bearing the burden of finding answers and providing support and holding the world together all on her own.
In the first episode, that mom (played by Martha Plimpton, right) is certain that her teen son's pain is more than the "growing pains" that doctors kept dismissing her with. She pleads, pressures, shames, cajoles, and finally inspires the doctors to find the true, unsuspected problem -- then feels guilty that she didn't get that diagnosis sooner. Been there, done that, no?
The second episode's mom (played by Adrienne Barbeau, left) is herself the patient, suffering from a potentially fatal condition that she's unwilling to take care of because her adult son with paranoid schizophrenia needs her talking him through every minute of his day. Hearing her distract and refocus him so skillfully rang some bells with me, as did the complete subversion of her own health and care to the all-consuming care for her loved and fragile child.
What struck me in both cases was how alone these moms were, with spouses no longer involved and family floated away. I'd like to believe that was fiction, but at a party this weekend, I talked to a couple of moms who were in similar situations with their children with special needs. It reminded me how thankful I am to have a husband who's involved and a full partner in the care of our kids (though certainly the research and the worry fall under my jurisdiction). We also have understanding family and friends, including a couple who are always ready to step in as second-string parents.
So invaluable is that help that I can't imagine doing without it. Are you going the special-needs parent route alone? Or have you managed to develop a support system for your family? Share your experience in the comments.
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