A conversation has developed in the comments to my recent post on the Glee disability awareness episode over the use of the word "Mongoloid" to describe Down syndrome in an early episode of the show. The word was used by an unlikable character, but went unchallenged by a likable one. I agree with the commenters who feel this is an outdated word that is now offensive and inappropriate. Sadly, though, that doesn't mean no one uses it.
The comments reminded me of an upsetting incident that happened during my daughter's freshman year in high school. She was reading a novel in her special-education resource-room class that was written in a time when the word "Mongoloid" was not outdated, and I had no problem with that. What I did have a problem with was her getting a vocabulary list on which "Mongoloid" was a word to be defined, memorized, and used in a sentence. (The sentence she wrote, alas, was "My brother is a Mongoloid." Which would have been bad enough if he did have Down syndrome, but since he has Fetal Alcohol Effects, I gather that she gained no particular understanding of the word except as something bad, and maybe insulting.)
I sent a note to the teacher suggesting that Mongoloid is in no way a word that should be put on a vocabulary list, and that a little sensitivity to the issue seemed appropriate for a special education class. She called back, in full nuisance-parent-squashing mode, to defend the word as historically accurate and therefore worth learning. She threw in that her grandmother used the word and her grandmother was a nice person and so, naturally, the word must be A-OK. At any rate, the vocabulary list was part of the curriculum and could not be changed.
Well. That left me pretty speechless. I had thought it self-evident that an offensive word that was now archaic should not be reintroduced into the vocabulary of young people. I thought about taking my argument over the teacher's head, complaining to Language Arts supervisor, to the principal, to the superintendent, to the school board. Instead, I just ranted about it in my head and online, and chose not to pick this as my first fight right off the bat as a high-school parent. I think if the word came up again now that I have a few more years under my belt, I'd make an issue of it.
In your experience, is the "M-word" in common usage anymore, or is it well accepted as offensive and inappropriate? I'd have thought so, but at least one teacher and one bad TV wife seem to think otherwise.
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Not to be snarky (okay, to be honest, this *is* to be snarky), I like the nice grandmother defense. Clearly all manner of socially inappropriate and offensive, hurtful behavior could be rendered meaningless if only more people had nice grandmothers.
Sigh.
Me, I think you made the right choice. I’m learning (second grade, after three years of trial by fire) to pick my battles. Maybe send a very friendly and supportive note suggesting ways she could teach it in the context of disability issues or at least teach archaic and bias-laden language (there must be teacher resources out there on the internets for things like To Kill A Mockingbird) in modern context. But I think going over her head would be an exercise in frustration and could erode important political capital in the future. I’ve seen schools dig in their heels about ridiculous things in the name of academic freedom…
Probably when your daughter goes to university, she will find a way to kill her grandmother to do her exams, or get out of said exams.
A nice grandmother will eventually be a dead grandmother, and all the ’special snowflake’ in the world won’t prevent that.
(But she has always been conscientious, so that won’t happen!)
Now I always say “Trisomy 21″ or just “trisomy”.
The M word seems to be common use around the UK. Certainly in The Curious Incident, it was mentioned. Now there aren’t many clues in that book that it isn’t current (except the letters dated in 1998). So it may have gone by the by.
I think I would have taken it farther if it had happened to me at this point in time. My son with DS is 12. I don’t ever hear it, but who knows if he hears it in school. He probably wouldn’t tell me about it.
I did have one experience – and she was a nice old grandmother time, and she said it with the sweetest voice. I was looking for a sitter when we moved and had heard about her. When I asked her if she had any openings and let her know he had DS, she said, “oh I’m retiring, but if I weren’t I’d love to take care of your little M******** baby.”
I just couldn’t say anything to her, but I might today.
The use of language shapes our beliefs, thoughts and actions. Luckily there is a bill now that is helping shape our use of the term “mentally retarded” to “intellectual disability” or ID. Hopefully erasing the use of “retarded” in the medical context will eliminate the slang “R” word eventually. And I won’t even go to the issue of using “mongoloid” as I thought it was eliminated in school curriculum, or certainly should be in the context of intellectual disabilities.
Senator Mikulski’s Statement on Introduction of Rosa’s Law Bill honors young girl whose brother said, “… what you call people is how you treat them.” U.S. Senator Barbara A. Mikulski today introduced Rosa’s Law, a bill that will eliminate the terms “mental retardation” and “mentally retarded” from the federal laws. link is here…
http://mikulski.senate.gov/record.cfm?id=319975&
the “M” word is archaic, is not in general use anymore so why revive, it Glee, it was fully intended to be insulting, but it did suprise me because in high school the “R” word is more common and insulting… interesting… I don’t know if they had any consulting on the script..
Every time I hear the word, it’s used by someone trying to be funny or for shock value. So what if old Aunt Edna or Grandma uses it. That’s a totally different context. Even my dysfunctional family would call them out on that (”Oh Granny, nobody says that any more!”) and it would probably be for the sake of the kids not learning and repeating it in that way… but to be part of the curriculum? Ugh. I can see defining it in passing like any other word in existence, but…
I think I would have been a total pain and told that teacher that my grandma calls gay people “fairies” and refers to my best friend as “that nice colored boy” so I fully expect that it will be okay if my kid uses those words in a sentence at school. That, or I would help my kid write a nice sentence like “Mongoloid is an archaic and offensive word that still somehow managed to make its way into my school’s crusty, rigid curriculum.”
Ha. Okay, I wouldn’t really do those things, but sometimes, I sure wanna.
Love it, Stephanie! Would that we could all get away with doing those little things we dream of!
I like that idea too, Stephanie. The one of writing a nice sentence.
Here is a reason to defend and protect our first-degree relatives, and to enshrine in law that goes beyond the family:
http://sarahely8989.blogspot.com/2009/11/in-violation-of-rc-290313a.html
A very brave and decent thirteen-year-old young man has gone to bat for his sister Sarah. He will now have an out-of-home placement as a result of punching his girlfriend’s friend out for using the R word and some other words.
Watch this space by 2nd December 2009.
We tell our children to use their words, not their fists.
Remember a scene in Little Men very much like this.
I had an aunt with Down Syndrome. She was refered to as “that Mongoloid kid” or worse “that retarded girl”.
Mongoloid is not as offensive to me as it refers to physical characteristics.
Retarded makes me want to bash the mouth of the sayer! It implies so much more.
My m-i-l’s new boyfriend (whose needs total re-educating) recently referred to my 5 year old son with DS as a retard. I flew thru the roof and let him and her know that under NO circumstances are DS people to be called such a derogatory word in our family’s presence. My husband wanted to crawl into a hole because of my outburst but I wanted to make myself perfectly clear on the subject. PS. the boyfriend has avoided me since.
you have to be kidding me. all of you guys flip out over a word. its just a word. but you treat it as the end of the world.our soilders are dying saving us but you care more about a word.
Wow “person”. No one mentioned the world ending because of this, but from a child’s point of view when called this, it might feel like it to them. Also, isn’t the fundamental right of free speech one of the reasons why those soldiers are fighting and dying?
I was searching for the definition of the word “mongoloid” because I heard it and thought between the incident being discussed and the tone of voice used by the speaker that it was meant in a derogatory manner. So thank you for your earlier discussion.