I asked you what you'd like special-educators to know -- about your child, yourself, the needs and rights of our families -- and a recent entry to the Readers Respond page made a good point that letting parents know things is a good idea for special-educators, too. It reminded me of so many times when I felt teachers weren't telling me things because they thought I did not want to know them, leading to IEP meetings at which all the nicey nice "she's soaring!" fell away and the problems that had gone unmentioned all year were dumped on me all at once. (It also reminded me of all the morning battles I didn't pick, about clothes and hygiene and finger-sucking, that maybe caused the teachers to think that if I sent my kid to school like that, I clearly couldn't handle the truth.) Wrote heartlandmom:
Please remember to communicate with us about what our child is working on at school, what is coming easily for her and what is challenging to her. I believe that learning is a 24/7 process, and if I know what she is working on, I will do my best to carry that subject matter over into our home/family life. Also, please understand that I sometimes have to pick my battles with my child. Many things, like brushing her hair, wearing a belt, or trimming her nails lead to screaming, kicking battles at home due to her sensory issues. So please accept that if she isn't perfectly dressed and groomed at times, it is not because I don't care, but because I DO, and don't want to put her through unnecessary discomfort for the sake of her appearance. I am really hoping that, like other little girls, these things will become important to her some day, but right now they are not.
What do you wish your child's teachers knew? What do you wish you could make them understand? Share your messages of hope and frustration on the Readers Respond page. And for some ideas on starting the upcoming school year on the right foot, read 25 Ways to Make This the Best School Year Ever.
Photo by Terri Mauro
Now that my daughter has finished up with her summertime day camps, including one (for the first time) which was not an inclusive camp, I’m thinking that it would be very helpful for camp directors and volunteers to think about these points too.
I found out at the week’s final performance that my girl has not actually been participating much in the dance components (which made up half of the instruction time) and instead was the special helper of the gentleman who did the sound elements for the dancers. “She has a real talent for it.”
I’m left wondering if we should bother trying to have her do dance at all, if we should instead find out where to get her involved with various musical instruments, and if we’ll learn anything at all about how she’s doing when she starts taking dance classes… I’m not looking forward to trying to initiate this conversation with the dance teacher.
That’s a good point — I don’t think camps think in terms of sharing information unless there’s trouble, and probably figure parents don’t want to hear so much about that either. Maybe a good thing to mention from the start that we want to know how things are going and are happy to answer questions. I have a camp information packet that could probably include that.