By Dan E. Burns; 154 pages. Subtitle: A Father's Story of Autism
The title of Saving Ben suggests that this will be a triumphant recovery story, and it tries hard to be, but life keeps getting in the way of miraculous intervention. The many cures proposed for autism are hard, life-consuming work, and have little regard for the fact that parents have jobs and relationships and their own demons to fight. Though Ben does improve with time and, perhaps, some help from all his therapies, in the end it's more a story of a father's tranformation than a child's.
- It's an honest, well-written memoir
- Burns describes many interventions tried, and the difficulty of following through on them
- Photos add to the experience of reading about this family
- Story may be disturbing to those who don't believe autism needs to be cured
- Author has strong opinions about proper treatment that may rub some readers wrong
- As the subtitle says, this is a father's story, with the mother mostly a roadblock
- Part 1: The Storm
Wished upon a Star; Quirky Ben; Diagnosis - Part 2: The Journey
Sunrise; Sunset - Part 3: Oz
Sit, Quiet Hand, Look at Me; The Benjamin Project, Expect a Miracle, Progress and Challenges, Sue, Me, and Ben; - Doctors to the Rescue; Ben at School; Cold War; Aftershocks
- Part 4: Never Give Up
Over the Rainbow; Going Home
How do you like your autism memoirs? Tales of triumph over a dread disability, with details on successful treatments and a recovered child and family at the end? Tales of acceptance, with parents gradually realizing the strength and beauty of their kids on the spectrum? Tales of struggle, with plenty of experiences to relate to and head-banging by both child and parent? Those seem to be the genres when it comes to autism autobiographies, and though Saving Ben sounds from its title and early parental intent like one of those triumphant solution-stories, it winds up in the third category, with the biggest transformation happening in the father's attitude about his son's disability.
At various times, author Burns is pretty sure he sees the secret to his son's survival in supplements, or diet, or behavior modification. Progress is made, then lost, then picked up again. Life intervenes more often than not. It's often said that autism is hard on marriages, but it's also true that the dissolution of marriages and inconsistency in parenting styles is hard on kids with autism. Friction within the extended family and mental-health issues faced by Ben's mother take their toll on programs planned, and school systems and medical professionals often aren't the biggest help, either.
It's an experience lots of parents of kids with special needs have had -- those interventions that sound so great on the pages of books are hard to actually follow through on in real life, with all its mess and competing obligations. If you've followed that rocky road to acceptance, you may appreciate Burns's honesty and frustration. If you're of the mind that autism's not something to be cured or "recovered" from, though, you may be frustrated yourself at the many proposed remedies imposed on Ben as he grew up. We've all got our own special-needs creeds, and there's certainly no shortage of autism memoirs to serve.
