Book Review: The Challenging Child

By Stanley I. Greenspan, M.D., with Jacqueline Salmon; 318 pages. Subtitle: Understanding, Raising, and Enjoying the Five 'Difficult' Types of Children

What's really going on when a child is sensitive, self-absorbed, defiant, inattentive, active or aggressive? Dr. Stanley Greenspan, in his wonderfully reassuring way, describes the bundle of neurological, sensory, and developmental factors that combine to create those troubling types -- and how you can play your way through.

About the Guide Rating

It’s a valuable parenting book indeed that makes you look up after reading a passage and say, “That’s it, exactly! That’s my child!” Seeing your own observations and suppositions in print is immensely gratifying, and “The Challenging Child” is full of those moments -- most likely because it breaks challenging children into five different types rather than lumping all bad behavior under one theory. My copy is bristling with stick-on flags to mark all those spots where I saw my son.

For each of the five behavior types, Dr. Greenspan describes behavior at various developmental stages; explains how it feels to be that child; points out parenting patterns that are ineffective with that type, and how parents understandably fall into them; advises how to proceed instead; offers a lengthy case study; and finishes with “floor time” strategies for that child’s specific needs.

Many theories about child behavior these days blame it entirely on brain chemistry, and suggest medication as the only solution. Others are quick to blame parents, and suggest that if they were not so weak/distracted/indulgent their children would never have come to this. “The Challenging Child” walks the middle ground, describing the mix of nature and nurture that gets kids in trouble and making parents the solution instead of the problem. It’s not your fault that your child doesn’t respond to strategies that work just fine with other kids. But resignation really isn't a useful alternative.