The ABCs of Behavior Management

Parenting tips and helpful resources

Ultimatums may seem like a way to get your child to sit up and take notice, but they also put you in a bind: If your child continues to misbehave, are you really prepared to deliver on that "or else"? Before making a statement that can become a losing proposition for both of you, try to find a way to say it in a way that is both compassionate and enforceable. Read:

+ When Ultimatums Don't Work
+ Review: Parenting Children With Health Issues
+ Review: Raising Your Spirited Child

Volume goes up when you're upset, both in terms of the loudness of your speech and the power of your emotions. But that emotion-blast may in fact make it impossible for your child to hear your message and adjust behavior, no matter how loudly you express it -- especially when she doesn't understand emotions well enough to see the trouble coming. Keep your cool if you can, and explain your anger after if you can't. Read:

+ Turn Down the Emotional Volume
+ Control Your Reactions
+ Help Your Child Recognize Emotions

Worship services are supposed to soothe the heart and inspire the soul, but if your child just can't stay suitably devout, it can be an endless hour of shh's and stop!'s and glares from fellow worshipers. Instead of expecting behavior you know your child's not capable of, try planning for the session in a way that works within your little one's limits and has a prayer of success. And never forget, while you're there, to count your blessings. Read:

+ Worshiping With a Special Needs Child
+ Review: Including People With Disabilities in Faith Communities
+ Mother's Day Musings

Rx means prescription, and prescription means controversy, or so it seems these days for children with behavioral special needs. To medicate, or not to medicate? That's the question many parents struggle with, even after they've made a decision one way or another. These three books offer different viewpoints on the desirability of meds, and can help you either make a decision or feel more confident in one:

+ Review: Your Child in the Balance
+ Review: Should I Medicate My Child?
+ Review: 101 Reasons to Avoid Ritalin Like the Plague

Yoga is a great way to reduce stress, which can be a major culprit for misbehavior in kids with behavior challenges. It's also a major culprit in parental overreaction that makes those behavior challenges worse. Try some deep breathing or yoga exercises for yourself or your child, or do them together for some of that quality time. Read:

+ Review: Integrated Yoga
+ Breathing Techniques to Relax Your Child
+ Work Out With Your Child

Zzzs -- when's the last time you got enough of them? Lack of sleep, like stress, can make behavior problems and parents' reactions to them so much worse. In fact, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, author of Sleepless in America, theorizes that some behavior problems are caused entirely by lack of sleep. Whether that's the situation for your child or not, ensuring that everyone in the household gets enough shut-eye can make behavior management much easier. Read:

+ Review: Sleepless in America
+ Review: The Floppy Sleep Game Book
+ Guided Relaxation