By Annie Lubliner Lehmann; 159 pages. Subtitle: Life Lessons From My Silent Son
When the author's son was born in 1983, autism wasn't a hot topic in every paper and news broadcast and political discussion. Parents receiving the mysterious diagnosis were left, even more than now, to their own devices, with little in the way of conventional wisdom or peer support to guide them. The Accidental Teacher tells the story of Jonah from birth to age 24 with a mix of hope and resignation that will be familiar to anyone who's loved a child whose challenges don't magically vanish.
- Short, straightforward, and quick to read
- Follows a pattern of getting hopes up and seeing hopes dashed that will be familiar to many parents
- Traces a child's story all the way to adulthood
- Presents the viewpoint of a family dealing with severe autism
- Offers a perspective from earlier days of autism awareness
- No how-to's or practical applications, just a simple sharing of personal experience
- May not seem inspirational to those starting out with a diagnosis
- "Life lessons" aren't clearly spelled out, but left for the reader to discern
- Chapter 1: Missed Milestones
- Chapter 2: The "Alphabet Soup" of Special Needs
- Chapter 3: "Celebrating Jonah"
- Chapter 4: Jonah's "Angels"
- Chapter 5: A Bargain With G-d
Chapter 6: School Days - Chapter 7: "Stop Banging the Corn" -- Learning a New Vernacular
- Chapter 8: No Quick Fix
- Chapter 9: Mother or Martyr?
Chapter 10: Bittersweet - Chapter 11: Letting Go
Chapter 12: "Cows in Canada" - Chapter 13: Jonah Now
Chapter 14: Every Child Is Born to Matter
Whenever there's discussion of autism, on e-mail lists or message boards or blog comments, things often break down into sniping between those who view autism as human variation to be accepted and celebrated, and those who insist that anybody who would accept and celebrate autism obviously doesn't have a child as seriously impaired as theirs. One's point of view seems to invalidate the experience of the other, and levels of functioning become fighting words.
The "silent son" at the center of The Accidental Teacher would probably fall on the "low-functioning" side of that debate, and his family's story certainly involves trials that are hard to put an upbeat spin on. After therapies that upend the household, treatments that empty wallets, medication and a distant school finally settled on despite earlier reluctance, there's really not much left to do but find value in the life that is, instead of gambling everything on recovering one that will never be.
By the end of the book, the author has managed to do that for her son, to accept that he finds comfort and meaning in an existence that would seem impossibly limited to most. The need to adjust expectations to accommodate reality is an important life lesson for many parents of children with special needs. So, too, is trusting your own instincts -- and understanding that, even so, those instincts aren't always right. Sometimes you have to learn to cut your losses and try something else, and be willing to accept what you once refused.
Whether you find that inspirational may depend on where you are in your own journey. But if you're in the mood for a quick-reading, straightforward biography, you may find this class worth attending.
This book was re-released in July 2009 in a slightly different version.
Have you read this book? Click on the blue button below to write your own review.
