By Susan Senator; 258 pages. Subtitle: One Family's Story of Struggle, Discovery and Unexpected Gifts
Autism memoirs by well-educated, comfortably-off women who turn their experience as parents of special-needs children into a professional calling are not exactly few and far between. They're well-written, engaging, sometimes inspiring and sometimes infuriating, particular to one sharply drawn clan but containing wider truths. If you enjoy these sorts of sharings of family development, Making Peace is a captivating way to spend your time. If not, the story may leave you saying, "Yeah? So?"
- Senator has a light, engaging tone that makes for pleasant reading
- It's good to know that others struggle with the same disasters and missteps
- Boxes throughout offer good practical advice
- The idea of "crisis storybooks" is a particularly useful idea to share
- Helpful material at the end includes list of interventions, terms, and Web sites
- It's a nicely told tale, but it's been told before, and told, and told
- You may find yourself becoming impatient with Senator's second-guessing
- At the same time, you may be second-guessing her yourself
- Will her sons be glad to have this much detail of their lives given out?
- There's nothing unique enough here to make it a book that HAD to be written
- Preface
Prologue - Chapter 1: Wondering
Chapter 2: Now We Know - Chapter 3: The First School Programs
- Chapter 4: Life With Our Two Small Boys
Chapter 5: Hitting Bottom - Chapter 6: A New Baby in the Family
- Chapter 7: Building a Strong Marriage Within Autism's Turmoil
- Chapter 8: Handling the Worst of Times
- Chapter 9: Our Most Important Discovery
Chapter 10: Just a Family - Epilogue
Acknowledgments
Resources - Appendix: A Brief Overview of Treatments and Interventions
Glossary: Key Terms Used in the Special Ed System
"Tolstoy wrote, 'All happy families are alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.' I must respectfully disagree. Our family is happy and yet quite unique. Every family facing autism, or any major adversity, must draw on its courage, creativity, and humor to find its own particular way through. With this book I hope to convey that despite the tremendous challenges that autism brings, you can find happiness as a family -- even if you don't find a miracle cure. Here's how we've done it."
These words end the preface of Making Peace With Autism, and I appreciate the sentiment. However, I must in turn respectfully disagree with Senator. All happy and all unhappy families may in fact be unique, but all families starring in autism memoirs seem to be very much alike. There's nothing specifically bad or boring or unlikeable about this particular family tale, except that it's been told before, from dread to diagnosis to denial and guilt, from early bad placements to good placements to good placements that go bad, from marital bumps to sibling thumps, from despair to delight and back again and again.
It's empowering for families to read these stories, sure. Senator shares some good ideas that have worked for her family, and that's certainly helpful. I particularly liked the notion of assembling "crisis storybooks" with hand-assembled pictures and text to walk routine-loving children through new experiences. There are also family vignettes here that are very charming. But Senator's done all those things before, on her blog and in published articles. Maybe it wasn't really necessary to fill a whole book with them. All happy families may be unique, but they don't all have to write memoirs, do they?
