Books on Family Issues

It's commonly thought that a high percentage of marriages of parents with special-needs children end in divorce, but this book proposes that it's not necessarily so -- and certainly doesn't have to be. Without minimizing the difficulties of nurturing a marriage while nurturing a highly needy child, the authors point out ways to sustain and strengthen the ties of love, not just of duty, that bind spouses together. It's an encouraging, even inspirational, read. 5 Stars

When you're up to your eyebrows in therapists and IEPs and doctor visits and research, it's hard to imagine a time when you'll have to deal with issues like where your adult child is going to live and work and find friendship. Often, we put those thoughts off -- but that time comes more quickly than you think, and without some advance preparation, it's rough on everyone. Peggy Lou Morgan, author of Parenting Your Complex Child, provides a calm, experienced voice to lead you through. 5 Stars

Hurray for a book that makes special-needs parenting sound like something you can survive, even thrive with! Informed by a survey of over 500 moms who shared their worries, joys, tips and tricks, this book offers practical advice on topics as far-thinking as securing your child's financial future and as right-now as finding a good babysitter. 4 Stars

Though its primary purpose is to help agencies organize Sibshops -- workshops for siblings of children with special needs -- this upbeat, accessible resource has plenty to offer parents, too. You'll learn what brothers and sisters have to say about their role in special-needs families, and get some good advice on providing the information and independence your typically developing child needs. And also, maybe, inspiration to get an agency near you to put one of these things on. 4 Stars

Virtually from the time that Pam Summerhayes was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at age four, her family braced for her death. That she lived to age 26 was an amazing achievement, one that testified to the love and effort of all family members. But as her sister chronicles in this tough memoir, the unending focus on the health and well-being of one child left deep scars on the life of her three siblings. It may be good for parents to read about and consider these consequences, but it's going to hurt a little. 4 Stars

When an infant is born premature or gravely ill, a parent's days may rotate around the NICU and consultations with doctors. Where does that leave other children in the family? Well-informed and in good hands, if the advice in this book is put into action. 4 Stars

With good humor and heart, author Terrell Harris Dougan tells the story of her sister, Irene, who has an intellectual disability, and of her family's lifelong effort to help Irene find a place in the world. Through home care and far-off schools, group homes and self-administered programs, the author advocates for Irene's proper placement and treatment, and for a more inclusive life for others like her. It's an inspiring and amusing story, with some food for thought about what our children need. 4 Stars

Perfect for reading on a parent's schedule -- that is, in small bursts of waiting-room time and post-bedtime peace -- these essays look at the sibling experience from an adult perspective, with stories both inspirational and cautionary. Like me, you may feel sorry for all the parental second-guessing going on, but the chance to take a look ahead into your family's future is worth a little rueful looking back. 4 Stars

There's no doubt that the needs of siblings of children with disabilities are many and undervalued, and a book that will help parents nurture and honor every one of their children is something we desperately require. This book isn't it, but it's a start, and one that offers food for thought. 3 Stars

Change "Sensory Processing Disorder" to "Special Needs" in this book's title and you'll have a truer sense of what it's about. Not really a sensory-processing book at all, this book gives thoughtful and practical advice on handling the strains a special-needs child puts on marriages, siblings, extended family relationships, checkbooks, and parental nerves. 3 Stars

Do adults with disabilities have important things to tell parents about how to raise children with disabilities? It's tempting to think so, given how little information about raising them our children tend to give out. But while there is much here that's inspirational, in the end, it's all just hindsight. And some of it isn't even 20/20. 2.5 Stars

This book's subtitle is "The Struggles and Rewards of Raising a Child With a Disability," but you won't find much about rewards, and maybe too much about parents' struggles with overwhelming grief at the loss of their dreams for their child. If you're at that stage in parenting a special-needs child, this book will be tremendously empowering and comforting. If not, you may be tempted to yell "Snap out of it! It's not all about you!" 2 Stars