The Bottom Line
By Foster W. Cline and Lisa C. Greene; 337 pages. Subtitle: Essential Tools, Tips, and Tactics for Raising Kids With Chronic Illness, Medical Conditions & Special Healthcare Needs
It's bad enough when misbehavior involves tantrums and lying and disrespect. When it involves skipping medication and avoiding treatments, it reaches a whole new degree of difficulty. The normal rules of Love and Logic parenting get tweaked here to accommodate the heightened stakes that come with chronic illness, and empower parents to create kids who can really take care of themselves.
Pros
- Adapts a respected behavioral program to the special needs of medically challenged kids
- Helps transition children into responsibility for their own medical care
- Acknowledges different approach needed for children with developmental disabilities
- Summaries at the end of each chapter make review and reinforcement easy
- Detailed and comprehensive, yet easy and enjoyable to read
Cons
- Holding the behavioral line even when the stakes are high may seem harsh to some
- Strong faith in these techniques comes off a little know-it-all
- Tries to hit too many bases with quick glosses on marriage and sibling issues
- Suggested dialogs may not sound like something you could really pull of
- Lays some blame on parents who do things differently
Description
- Part 1: Love and Logic Basics
Chapter 1: The Foundation: Parenting With Love and Logic - Chapter 2: The Basic Principles: Just What the Doctor Ordered
Chapter 3: Loving Limits: Preparing Kids for the Real World - Chapter 4: No More "No!" Avoiding Power Struggles and Arguments
Chapter 5: From the Inside Out: How Children Really Learn - Chapter 6: Now What? Tips for Parenting From Infancy to Adulthood
- Part 2: Advanced Love and Logic Applications
Chapter 7: It's Not Birds and Bees - Chapter 8: You're Not Alone: Psychological Issues
Chapter 9: "It's Not Fair!" Handling Sibling Relationships - Chapter 10: Unique Situations: Developmental Disabilities
- Chapter 11: Caution: Medical Challenges Affect Marriage and Family
Chapter 12: The Final Word - Part 3: Bonus Section
Section 1: Love and Logic Quick Tips
Section 2: In Their Own Words: Inspiring Stories - Section 3: Remembering Heroes
Section 4: Helpful Resources
Section 5: A Note to Professionals
Section 6: Appendices
Guide Review - Book Review: Parenting Children With Health Issues
As a parent of physically healthy kids with learning and behavioral issues, I tend to think of medical issues as a whole separate area, with different challenges and crises. But of course, kids with chronic illnesses don't always behave perfectly either, and parents have their hands full dealing with both keeping their child alive and making their child a pleasure to live with.
When the consequences are life-and-death and the time together may be short, it's tempting for parents to throw in the disciplinary towel, excuse trying behavior, and micromanage medical care. The authors of Parenting Children With Health Issues argue that, as hard as it is to get tough on kids who have it so tough already, enabling bad behavior and helplessness will be more dangerous in the long run.
The Love and Logic program, adapted here for the special needs of children with health problems, emphasizes building a child's self-concept; sharing control and decision-making; offering empathy, then consequences; and sharing thinking and problem-solving. It's heavy on natural consequences, which can be scary when the consequences involve health crises. Parents are advised to offer empathy, not rescue.
The belief is that teens and young adults will have to manage their own health-care, so you might as well lay the groundwork for it early -- and that if health management is Mom and Dad's control area, that's what a teen will rebel against. It makes sense, and the statements provided for explaining the situation to your child radiate with love and good humor.
It works great on paper, anyway, and the book is full of stories from families who have used it successfully. If you're having behavior struggles with an ill child, or want to start your kids on the path of good health management, it's an approach worth studying.
