Parenting magazines and Web sites are full of advice on how to pick the perfect preschool for your child, but what might be perfect for a precocious or "normal" tot might not be the ideal spot for a child with special needs. Here are some factors to consider when choosing a preschool or daycare that will take the best care of your little one.
"The Best" May Not Be Best
Super-rigorous academic programs for kids as young as preschool age are often selling points for schools for little learners, yet very good schools with very lofty reputations can be very bad places for children with special needs. A school that sells itself based on seriousness or exclusivity is not likely to allow wide latitude for behavioral or developmental differences. And constant emphasis on learning may be stressful for your child, and stress can bring out even worse behavioral problems.
Toilet Training
Many preschools and daycares prefer that children be toilet-trained at a particular age. Often, children with special needs are late in reaching this milestone, and it may not be an appropriate goal until a much more advanced age than the school requests. Before deciding on a program for your child, find out whether a lack of toileting skills will be a problem, and whether there are personnel on hand who will be able to do whatever diapering your child will need.
Public vs. Private
Be sure to check with your school district to find out if your child is eligible for special-education preschool offered in the public schools. Special education preschool provides education and services appropriate to your child, and will accommodate children who are not toilet-trained and who have specific physical or behavioral challenges. These are usually half-day programs, but you may be able to have your child bused to another preschool for the rest of the day if needed.
Language Modeling
Children with developmental or communication disabilities benefit enormously from being talked to a great deal and hearing plenty of speech to model. If many of the caretakers at a preschool or daycare speak a different language than you speak at home, there is a potential for confusion with a language-impaired child, and at the very least you will lose the benefits that bombardment with one language would bring.
Individual Attention
Your child may benefit from having a one-on-one aide, whether for physical or medical help or to handle behavioral difficulties. Ask if the preschool or daycare has enough staff to devote someone to your child, or if you can pay extra to hire such a person. Ideally, this will keep your child from becoming a burden on the teacher or a nuisance to the other students, while also providing a lot of beneficial individualized contact. Just having extra staff in the classroom may be sufficient.
An Inclusive Atmosphere
In the end, the best preschool or daycare for your special-needs child may be one that already has worked with children with special needs. Other programs may accept your child with a "well, we'll see how it goes" attitude, but that kind of pins-and-needles situation isn't healthy for your child or for you. Ask for recommendations among parents you know from early intervention and support groups. You want to find a place that's really able to serve a child like yours, not just willing.
