By David Loewenstein, PhD; 157 pages. Subtitle: A Father's Story
There are special-needs memoirs that specialize in endless detail, or black humor, or grief-tinged reflection, or fervent fact-finding. This isn't one of those. It's just a simple telling of one family's experience with premature birth, early health struggles, and long-term perseverance. If you're inspired by stories of how other families have handled their challenges, this book offers one in a quick-reading, heartfelt, and straightforward format.
- Short and straightforward look at one family's experience
- Focuses on positives instead of negatives
- Includes story of international adoption
- Author comes to useful realizations along his family's journey
- Includes some reflections on special needs and society
- Doesn't go into much detail on Rachel's condition and treatment
- Not all elements of the story are of equal interest
- No how-to's or practical applications, just a simple sharing of personal experience
- Chapter 1: Born Too Soon
Chapter 2: The Beginning - Chapter 3: The Journey Begins
- Chapter 4: Holding On to Life
- Chapter 5: From Bad to Worse
- Chapter 6: Reflections
Chapter 7: Homecoming - Chapter 8: A Special Child
- Chapter 9: A Sister
- Chapter 10: Voyage to China
- Chapter 11: Acceptance and Its Grace
- Chapter 12: Today and Tomorrow
Rachel Loewenstein was born at 23 weeks, weighing 18 ounces. The first year of her life was marked by frequent crises, including one that cost her some fingers on her right hand. More than once, it looked like she wouldn't make it. But with the help of dedicated doctors, and the love of her devoted parents, she lived to learn and grow and write adorable essays about her father.
Dad returns the favor here with a short and sweet memoir about his daughter's birth and early struggles. This isn't a book to read if you're looking for rants against the medical system, disagreements between parents and doctors, details on the extraordinary care given to preemies and the emotional cost it exacts, or concrete strategies for making your own way through that tangle of troubles. It's just one family's upbeat story.
What's interesting about the book, to me, is the way it traces the evolution of a special-needs family. This is something I don't think people unaffected by children with disabilities understand -- the way something that seems tragic becomes, with time and experience, your unspectacular life. So when someone says "You're a saint!" or "I could never do what you do!" it's kind of a surprise, because what else would you be doing? And what's the big deal, anyway?
Another transition made by the Loewensteins, one particularly gratifying to me as an adoptive parent, was a move from seeking ever more advanced fertility treatments to finding adoption a reasonable option. Their trek to China to adopt Rachel's sister was a big trip, but the one from a couple seeking a perfect biological child to a family with one special-needs child and one internationally adopted child is quite a bigger one. I enjoyed sharing their journey.
