February 18-28
Love Notes Gallery
Feb. 17 ♥ YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. Don't you? If not, you know how to make it look like you do. A little confidence goes a long way, and you can always fake it 'til you make it. The more you do, the more you realize that even the so-called "experts" are mostly just guessing and making it look good. Why shouldn't your guess be as good as theirs? When it comes to parenting children with special needs, there are no hard-and-fast correct answers and smart moves, and trial and error is a perfectly acceptable method for finding solutions that work. The only thing worse than making a mistake is not making an effort. So even if you're doing the wrong thing, you're doing the right thing. See? You did know what you were doing after all.
Feb. 16 ♥ YOU ARE TOUGH. Those wimps on "Survivor" have nothing on you. "Outwit - Outplay - Outlast" could be your motto, whether you're dealing with manipulative children, uncooperative educators, unresponsive insurance companies, unsympathetic family members, therapists who refuse to listen and doctors who don't seem to care. You stay focused, you develop your strategies, you form alliances, and you do what needs to be done. Because you are understanding and caring and loving, people may mistake you for a pushover. You may even prefer cooperation and compromise to force and subterfuge. But that doesn't mean you don't have the latter two weapons at your disposal. Your other motto? "Whatever works."
Feb. 15 ♥ YOU ARE UNDERSTANDING. Maybe you never realized how important it is to have a truly understanding friend until you had a child with special needs, and found so many friends to be unable to reach out and give you the support you needed. Whether they couldn't deal with your changed circumstances, sympathize with your problems, keep from hurtful judging, or allow you child to associate with theirs, some of the people who were once important in your life may have fallen away because at the very deepest level, they were unable to understand. It's made you value those who are always there for you, unconditionally, without agenda. And it's helped you to be a much more understanding parent, family member and friend yourself.
Feb. 14 ♥ YOU ARE LOVING. But you understand that love means more than hearts and flowers and candy and pretty words. Love may be enough to move mountains, but it helps if you push, too. Loving your child with special needs means working, fighting, struggling, advocating, teaching, training, modifying, guessing, trying, trying again, analyzing, modifying, accommodating, managing, seeking, pursuing, researching, realizing all the many many things you need to do to help your child and making sure they're done. There may be hugs and kisses and thank you's and ruffly cards and candy hearts along the way, or there may be frustration and isolation and heartache. But your love is stronger than all of that. And somehow, some way, your child will love you for it.
Feb. 13 ♥ YOU ARE GROWING. If there were growth charts for parents of children with special needs, the first percentile would represent shock, denial, doubt in your ability to handle such an overwhelming challenge. Maybe, at one time, you were off the bottom of that particular chart. But with time, you passed that first percentile, then the fifth, growing a little steadier, then the tenth, growing a little stronger. Somewhere around the 50th percentile, you found acceptance of your child's disabilities; around the 60th, the ability to enjoy your child's unique gifts. As you grow in knowledge of and advocacy for your child's special needs, you are growing in other ways, too -- in patience, in tolerance, in spirituality. There may be plateaus and fallbacks, but your personal growth is nonetheless dazzling.
Feb. 12 ♥ YOU'RE A GOOD LEARNER. There have been many changes in your life since you became a parent of a child with special needs, and one of them has undoubtedly been your reading list. You plow through books on your child's disability or special-needs parenting, looking for answers and inspiration. Sometimes even books written for professionals will turn up on your night table. As much as you learn from books, you also learn from watching your child -- what works and what doesn't, what causes a reaction and what stops it. Through your daily efforts at educating yourself about anything and everything that can help your child, you've earned a life-experience degree in neurology, physiology, psychology. And you learn something new every day.
