Day 14
READ: "Parenting involves reliving your own childhood. It is inevitable that you will replay events of your own childhood with your children. You will basically treat your children the way you were treated. It is the only reference you have and you have thoroughly incorporated it into your behavior." -- from Parenting a Child with Diabetes by Gloria Loring • 
REFLECT: Am I basing my relationship with my child on who he is or who I was? Do the patterns I learned in childhood apply to this child, now?
RESPOND: Old habits die hard, but they don't have to die all at once; focus on one aspect of your parenting that's leftover from your own parents but doesn't work with your kids, like losing your temper; worrying too much; or focusing too much on the future.
Day 15
READ: "You cannot tell your other children to be more human than you are. You cannot model one set of behaviors as parents, and then get upset if your children do the same. You must acknowledge that they experience the same frustration and anger that you experience." -- from The Misunderstood Child: Understanding and Coping with Your Child's Learning Disabilities by Larry B. Silver, MD •
REFLECT: How do my other children interact with my special-needs child? Do I allow them to express the same anger and frustration that I sometimes do? Do I expect them to be more fair and accepting than I can be myself?
RESPOND: Often we are so alert to insults or unfairness aimed at our special-needs child that we go into attack mode without even thinking -- even when the one we're defending against is another one of our children. To stay aware of the needs and feelings of siblings of children with special needs, check out our Family Issues links; and to be inspired by a man who was affected in positive ways by his disabled brother, read The Power of the Powerless.
Day 16
READ: "As one father said, 'Things were different when I was a boy. My son's room has a color TV, a VCR, a CD player, and his own telephone. Now when I punish him, I have to send him to my room.'" -- from 10-Minute Life Lessons for Kids by Jamie C. Miller •
REFLECT: Do the things I've given my child make him feel loved or entitled? Am I afraid to take those things away as punishment? Do I have a good time-out place that isn't fun for my child?
RESPOND: Electronic goodies aren't necessarily bad for kids to have; often, children with special needs have trouble fitting in with peers, and isolating them from everything cool won't help that. If you've allowed these things in your home, use them as a disciplinary tool -- restrict use until homework is done, remove them if behavior slips, and make sure time-outs are entirely fun-free.
Day 17
READ: "Laziness is not an innate trait. We all are born with a drive to produce, and like saplings growing in an orchard, we have within us the resources to bear fruit, to be and to feel useful and effective." -- from The Myth of Laziness by Dr. Mel Levine •
REFLECT: Does my child feel useful and effective? Is there something I can do to turn what seems to be laziness into motivation? How useful and effective do I feel on a daily basis?
RESPOND: In addition to Dr. Levine's books, seek out these books on learning to help you more effectively inspire and motivate your child.
Day 18
READ: "I was a wonderful parent before I had children. I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had three of my own. Living with real children can be humbling." -- from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish • [compre url=http://erclk.about.com/?zi=16/e%5dM]
REFLECT: Do I allow people with strong opinions and nothing to base them on make me feel guilty about the way I'm raising my children? Do I trust my own judgment and experience? Have I adjusted my own beliefs and opinions to the realities of my particular kids?
RESPOND: Dealing with self-appointed experts who think they know everything about raising our kids can be annoying at best, confidence-crushing at worst; use our tips for dealing with toxic people to apply behavior management techniques to know-it-alls and knuckleheads.
Day 19
READ: "Parents can make a dramatic difference in how children use their wonderfully different natural abilities. Children vary considerably in the ways they use their senses and bodies and the ways they respond to the world. For each unique pattern, however, parents can create experiences that promote flexibility." -- from The Challenging Child by Stanley I. Greenspan, MD • Read a Review
REFLECT: Do I spend so much time thinking about my child's disabilities that I ignore his or her abilities? What can I do to help my child use strengths to compensate for weaknesses?
RESPOND: Every child is good at something -- you may just have to be creative to find out what it is. Give lots of positive recognition of those abilities, and call upon those strengths as often as possible.
