Day 20
READ: "It's often said that rearing a happy, healthy, well adjusted child is one of the most demanding and challenging of all human endeavors. Fortunately, it's also the most rewarding." -- from The American Academy of Pediatrics Guide to Your Child's Symptoms • 
RESPOND: Joining a support group, whether in-person or online, is a great way to put your problems in perspective -- it's good to hear that other people are dealing with the same thing, and to hear about situations that make your problems look smaller.
Day 21
READ: "Every kid wants to have 'cool' parents. No, this does not mean they want parents who try to be hip to the latest styles (this makes you decidedly uncool). And contrary to some popular teaching, being a cool parent does not mean being so permissive that you let your kids do whatever they want. What every kid wants are parents who can keep their cool, even when things get hot." -- from ScreamFree Parenting by Hal Runkel •
REFLECT: Am I a "cool" parent? "Cool" in what sense? Do I give too much away? Try too hard to be liked? Or don't let too much get to me?
RESPOND: Even kids who do everything they can think of to push your buttons like to know you're really in charge -- of your emotions, along with everything else. Try hard to control your reactions, and if necessary give yourself a time out or a day off.
Day 22
READ: "The great, gnawing fear is that if you don't push, if you relax and let the chips fall where they may, your child will fail. Or at least not succeed." -- from The Trouble with Perfect by Elisabeth Guthrie, MD, and Kathy Matthews •
REFLECT: Do I push my child too hard? Are the goals I'm setting important to my child, or only to me? What's the worse that could happen if I pushed a little less?
RESPOND: If pushing your child isn't showing the results -- in either progress or happiness -- that you're hoping for, you may need to reconsider what it means to be successful. Follow these secrets to success and the pursuit may be more rewarding for both your child and you.
Day 23
READ: "This brings me to the fundamental question you have to ask yourself any time you're trying to solve a problem with aggression: is the aggression coming from fear or dominance? That's important, because punishment will make a fearful animal worse, whereas punishment may be necessary to curb assertive aggression." -- from Animals in Translation by Temple Grandin •
REFLECT: Is what's true for animals true for children, too? Does my child's aggression come from a place of dominance or fear? Does my reaction take that into account?
RESPOND: Performing a behavior analysis on troubling behavior can help you find what's behind it and tailor an appropriate response.
Day 24
READ: "Readers take the written word and construct meaning based on their own thoughts, knowledge, and experiences. The reader is part writer." -- from Strategies that Work: Teaching Comprehension to Enhance Understanding by Stephanie Harvey and Anne Goudvis •
REFLECT: Is this my child's experience of reading? Does my child understand that his or her thoughts and feelings about reading material have value and are part of the reading experience? Do I encourage this sharing or rush past it?
RESPOND: Set up a reading routine with your child that includes the sharing of thoughts and feelings -- your child's, and yours, too.
Day 25
READ: "When our kids hit that magical moment of adolescence, most of the parenting rules that helped us for the first decade of their lives become outdated. Everything changes, even as our kids change. We need to adapt, adjust, and grow in the way we relate to our kids if we want to maintain a meaningful, healthy, and strong relationship during this admittedly turbulent time." -- from Adolescence Isn't Terminal by Kevin Leman •
REFLECT: Do I adjust my parenting style to my child's developmental stage? Do I attribute all behavioral weirdness to his or her disability without recognizing that some of it comes with developmental transitions? Do I assume my special child will stay childlike forever?
RESPOND: Children with special needs often hit developmental milestones on their own unpredictable timetable, so it's easy for parents to lose track of what normal development looks like. Reading about adolescence from a variety of viewpoints can both comfort you that what your child is going through is normal, and help you realize things could be worse. A few more books to look at: Not Much Just Chillin'; The Pressured Child; What It Takes to Pull Me Through; and Freaks, Geeks and Asperger Syndrome.
