The individualized part of IEP means that the plan has to be tailored specifically to your child's special needs -- not to the needs of the teacher, or the school, or the district. Goals, modifications, accommodations, personnel, placement, all should be selected, enforced and maintained with the particular needs of your child in mind. "We don't do that," for example, is not an individualized response. If your school has never had a child like yours (and since your child is an individual, they haven't), and now they do, and a service is appropriate to his or her needs, then they do do that now.
Next question: Who attends an IEP meeting?