16. Actively Reach Out to Brothers and Sisters
Parents and agency personnel should consider inviting (but not requiring) brothers and sisters to attend informational, individualized education program (IEP), individualized family service plans (IFSP), and transition planning meetings and clinic visits. Siblings frequently have legitimate questions that can be answered by service providers. Brothers and sisters also have informed opinions and perspectives and can make positive contributions to the child’s team.
17. Learn More About Life as a Sibling
Anyone interested in families ought to be interested in siblings and their concerns. Parents and providers can learn more about life as a sib by facilitating a Sibshop, hosting a sibling panel, or reading books by and about brothers and sisters. Guidelines for conducting a sibling panel are available from the Sibling Support Project and in the Sibshop curriculum. Visit the Sibling Support Project's web site for a bibliography of sibling-related books.
18. Create Local Programs Specifically for Brothers and Sisters
If your community has a Parent-to-Parent program or a similar parent support effort, a fair question to ask is: Why isn't there a similar effort for the brothers and sisters? Like their parents, brothers and sisters benefit from talking with others who "get it." Sibshops and other programs for preschool, school-age, teen, and adult siblings are growing in number. The Sibling Support Project, which maintains a database of more than 200 Sibshops and other sibling programs, provides training and technical assistance on how to create local programs for siblings.
19. Include Brothers and Sisters on Advisory Boards and in Policies Regarding Families
Reserving board seats for siblings will give the board a unique, important perspective and reflect the agency's concern for the well-being of brothers and sisters. Developing policies based on the important roles played by brothers and sisters will help ensure that their concerns and contributions are part of the agency's commitment to families.
20. Fund Services for Brothers and Sisters
No classmate in an inclusive classroom will have a greater impact on the social development of a child with a disability than brothers and sisters will. They will be their siblings' lifelong "typically developing role models." As noted earlier, brothers and sisters will likely be in the lives of their siblings with disabilities longer than anyone else -- longer than their parents and certainly longer than any service provider. For most brothers and sisters, their future and the future of their siblings with special needs are inexorably entwined. Despite this, there is little funding to support projects that will help brothers and sisters get the information, skills, and support they will need throughout their lives. Governmental agencies would be wise to invest in the family members who will take a personal interest in the well-being of people with disabilities and advocate for them when their parents no longer can. As one sister wrote: "We will become caregivers for our siblings when our parents no longer can. Anyone interested in the welfare of people with disabilities ought to be interested in us."
Excerpted with permission from "Sibshops, Revised Edition" by Don Meyer and Patricia Vadasy. (Published by Paul H. Brookes Publishing Co.; 978-1-55766-783-0. Copyright © 2008 by Paul H. Brookes Publishing Co., Inc.; all rights reserved.) Sibshop and Sibshops are service marks and trademarks owned by Donald J. Meyer on behalf of the Sibling Support Project.
