The Bottom Line
By Linda Rector; 180 pages. From the back cover: "Essential for practitioners who work with families during and after intensive baby care, this easy-to-read book is also a lifeline for parents of at-risk newborns, who will use the real-world advice and strategies to address the needs and concerns of their older children."
When an infant is born premature or gravely ill, a parent's days may rotate around the NICU and consultations with doctors. Where does that leave other children in the family? Well-informed and in good hands, if the advice in this book is put into action.
Pros
- Accessible and easy-to-read for parents, though written for professionals
- Gives suggestions for a variety of situations, including multiples and death of an infant
- Tailors ideas to siblings' different developmental stages
- Short family stories are used effectively throughout
- Index includes useful books and online references
Cons
- Since it's written for people working with parents, may seem a little impersonal
- More of a general guide than a specific how-to
- The type size seems small to this tired old parent's eyes
Description
- Chapter 1: The Developmental Perspective: Siblings Across the Age Span
- Chapter 2: The High-Risk Pregnancy: The Big Brother's and Sister's Perspective
- Chapter 3: The Newborn in the Hospital: A Stressful Time for Parents
- Chapter 4: Talking with Big Brothers and Sisters: What Do We Tell Them?
- Chapter 5: When Parents Visit the Baby: Ways to Support Big Brothers and Sisters
- Chapter 6: Big Brothers and Sisters Visit the Baby: How to Make It a Success
- Chapter 7: Coping With the Birth and Hospitalization of the Baby: How to Help Siblings
- Chapter 8: Sibling Support Groups: Why They Are Important
Chapter 9: Multiple Babies in the NICU - Chapter 10: Getting Ready for the Baby to Come Home: Including Big Brothers and Sisters
Chapter 11: The Baby Comes Home - Chapter 12: Understanding the Baby's Death
Chapter 13: The Baby With Special Needs
Chapter 14: Growing Together
Guide Review - Book Review: Supporting Siblings and Their Families During Intensive Baby Care
Some siblings are excited to have a new baby in the family, some dread the disruption, and others may seem disinterested. But when the promised infant remains in the hospital for days or weeks or months, brothers and sisters waiting at home may feel confused, hurt, and neglected, wondering about the absence of the new baby and of their parents, too.
Supporting Siblings is written for hospital personnel, with the hope that they'll help parents sort out the varying needs of struggling infants and befuddled brothers and sisters. Unlike most books written for professionals, though, this one uses clear, jargon-free language, making it entirely accessible to parents, too. It can help you anticipate the way siblings may show their feelings, the misunderstandings they may have, and the steps you can take to be a family even in these most trying circumstances.
The circumstances touched on in the book include babies in the NICU, multiple births, mothers on bed rest before pregnancy and hospitalized after, families split by babies getting treatment far from home, babies coming home from the hospital and babies who never do. While many of the suggestions deal specifically with infant issues, there is much to learn and use here for any family in which a sibling, of any age, has a health crisis.
It would be great if all hospitals had this book, and made use of it, and reached out to parents and families in the generous spirit described here. My reading of books like Alex: The Fathering of a Preemie and Tiny Titan tells me that those involved in the intensive care of infants are often not so accommodating. It may be impossible to anticipate your need for a book like Supporting Siblings, but parents who know there's a risk would do well to read up and plan ahead.
