Behavior Targeted
Take some of the fight out of some situations by having a list of rules
What I Do
Is it difficult for your child to remember the “rules”? There may be a simple solution. Put the “rules” in writing. When your child protests, tell them, “Sorry, it’s a rule”, and show them the rule. I have created a list of the most important rules. Some of the rules address good manners, others address negative behaviors. Using the written rule as an arbiter of “good behavior” removes the test of wills between the child and parent that often accompanies enforcement of rules.
How I Do It
For example, if my son doesn't want to buckle up in the van, I tell him he has to, it's the law and rule #25, and then I show him the rule. While each rule is written on a 2 x 3 card, I have also devised a “key chain” list of rules. My key chain only has words on it. If you like you could put your “rules” on a larger card and include pictures. I've included our list of rules below.
Rule #1: Always tell mom, dad, and family how much you love them
Rule #2: When you wake up, always go to the bathroom and go potty. .
Rule #3: We always keep our clothes on, except when we are sleeping or taking a bath.
Rule #4: When someone gives you something or does something nice say, “Thank You”.
Rule #5: When someone tells you thank you say “You’re Welcome”.
Rule #6: When someone sneezes say “Bless You”.
Rule #7: When you need help, ask.
Rule #8: Don’t hit, hitting hurts.
Rule #9: Inside voices are always used inside.
Rule #10: Always keep your hands to yourself; some people don’t like to be touched.
Rule #11: Our hands can only go in our pockets, don’t put them inside your pants or underwear.
Rule #12: Don’t throw things (unless it is a ball outside).
Rule #13: When you need to ask for something, use the word “Please”.
Rule #14: It’s good to share and take turns
Rule #15: It’s good to help others.
Rule #16: If someone is doing something you don’t like, ask them to STOP.
Rule #17: It’s okay to take a break.
Rule #18: Before you go to bed, go potty, wash your hands and brush your teeth.
Rule #19: If you need a hug, ask.
Rule #20: Don’t bite, biting is only for eating food. It’s not nice to bite people and it’s bad for our teeth.
Rule #21: Don’t kick anything but a ball.
Rule #22: The only right place to go potty is in the bathroom.
Rule #23: Smile often, it makes you and others feel good.
Rule #24: It’s okay to cry if you are upset, but don’t forget to use words to tell others what is bothering you.
Rule #25: Always wear your seatbelt when traveling in a car, truck, bus or van.
Rule #26: Turn off your TV when you are not in your room.
Rule #27: Always go to the bathroom before leaving for anywhere.
Rule #28: Ask for snacks or juice.
Rule #29: No running in the house.
Rule #30: Try your best to follow all the rules.
Lessons learned
- When we leave to go anywhere I no longer have to tell my children to use the bathroom, I just say time for Rule #27 and they’re all scampering off to the bathroom. Now, if I can only get my husband to follow Rule #12, I’d be in heaven. One day he broke the rule throwing an exercise ball in the house, knocking over a glass of water.
- I no longer need to use the key chain, now I simply explain it's a rule, it doesn't fix everything but it helps more often than not.
