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Readers Respond: Has Your Special-Needs Parenting Experience Been a Nightmare?

Responses: 9


From the article: Books on Parenting Issues
Some parents of children with disabilities are able to see blessings in their situation and find reasons for thankfulness, but for others, the picture is far more bleak. If your life as the parent of a child with special needs has been a nightmare, write about it here, and find some understanding and common experience in the stories of others. Share your story

Thankful? Not on your life!

My experience has been a nightmare that never ever ends. It adversely affected my other son. My disabled son is 42 now, going on 14. Nearly every week, he has an explosive blow out and police get involved (if not the fire department, emergency rooms, psychiatric wards). He’s been tazered a lot. When he was young, his father disappeared and never sent a dime in child support and I could never make enough—even with 2 jobs with shiftwork-- to afford the proper assessment and help for him. It still cost me a FORTUNE getting as much help as I was able to get for him. The stress and overwork ruined my health (not that my son's traumatic birth didn't do enough damage). No way am I remotely thankful for this experience, even though now I can handle anyone--even psychopaths. Yes, I pray for my son all the time, but even God isn't enough. The nightmare goes on.
—Guest Marysue5252

no help here

The town of Albany GA has adopted the nickname,"The Good-Life City"! Yea, right. There is no help whatsoever here in this town for parents of special need children. I have left no stone unturned in trying to find help. I have had to resign from many good paying jobs because there is no centers to help with after school care for children in high school age. I refused to let my other son sacrifice his life of playing ball and singing in the chorus at school just to sit home and care for a child that he did'nt bring into this world. Even though he had done this last year in order for me to keep my job; It just would'nt be fair to him, and he just may start to resent his brother for the way he is. I thank God for both of my children. However, doing this alone can be very overwhelming. Expecially in a town that just doesn't get it. Sometimes I wish that others could walk a day in my shoes to understand the fear of not having enough to support my child, yet loving them enough keep trying.
—Guest msjones

Not a word

I love my daughter very much but it is so frustrating to wake up and realise that you have a child who has never talked to you, never really said mommy. No words, no signs, no form of communication, nothing tangible to hold on to. We've uprooted our lives to move so she can get help but she is like a wall you cant get over. Its hard, very hard and i feel it for all the parents out there. Be stronger still.
—Guest sm

Has your special needs parenting been a

I adopted two special needs kiddos, little did I know the town where I live would shun them and treat them ugly. School administration complained because they do not have those learning disabilities in this state except from adopted children... Please. They do not even try to understand the kiddos but maybe 3 teachers do understand... They have these types of kiddos in this school all the time but just do not want to accept them. What an ugly world when teachers and school administration treat kiddos this way. Someday they will be judged the same way they treated these kiddos in heaven thier day will come
—Guest Just a mom

who knew

Im a stepmother to three boys, one of which is severely mentally and physically challenged. To say its been hard is a gross understatement. We cant go anywhere with this child without him screaming at top velocity non-stop.Not even grocery shopping. We made the mistake of taking a day trip to the zoo with the boys but the disabled child screamed and cried the entire six hours we were there. Normally we would have given up and taken them all home but we decided to tough it out for the sake of the other two boys who rarely get to do much of anything because of their brother. The worst part is the horrible dirty looks you get from strangers who don't understand that hes not crying because hes hungry or feeling neglected, its because he wants to be at home in front of the tv watching cartoons. I feel so bad for my two other stepsons because theyre missing out on so much. And I was really shocked at the lack of help from both family and community. Far more judgment than help.
—Guest geniebomb

I totally relate. it's hard...

Yrs ago I had a baby hopes dreams, yrs not even months I noticed something different. I searched fir answers didn't diagnoses meds therapy I did it all and aged in the process. I ask God why, I guess to grow closer to Him because I did. Pray I don't stop. You can't imagine how hard it is, I pray for all the children and parents to hang on and be strong I know truly all too well the horror at times and fear everyone of us feel and go through...you're not alone..
—Guest cm

Its not easy

Anyone who says its a blessing is lying..its hard! Very hard! And although i have to live with it it doesnt make me happier as the days go on!
—Guest Kay

only if your the one with the S.Needs

I'm 43 years old and I'm raising a child who isn't in Special Ed.My biggiest challenge is trying to relate to him about school and social development issues.I didn't have the privaledge of allowing the maturation process to evolve naturally like my son.The reason is because of my 36 years association with the Marianne Frostig School and being the son of Harvey Korman.The only thing I about my learning disability that has had a positive aspect on my relationship with him its that its been a humbling safe guard from wallowing in self pity and underachieving.Being the best husband and father is the best title I have in my life.As long as my LD doesn't hurt them I can say my LD has been a blessing.
—Guest Christopher Korman

I Understand!

I'm reluctant to say I can empathize, though my son is still a teenager and I still hold out hope for a positive outcome. But, I admire this person's honesty, since in our society it is never OK to be this brutally honest about one's own child. We are socialized to think we must parent, uncomplainingly and sacrificially, no matter the disruption to our lives; no matter the abuse; no matter the health-taking toll these children exact. It's not right--parents this overwhelmed and resentful need HELP, not judgment!!
—Guest IDeAnna

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Has Your Special-Needs Parenting Experience Been a Nightmare?

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