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Readers Respond: What's the Most Outrageous Thing That's Happened to You at an IEP Meeting?

Responses: 65

By , About.com Guide

From the article: IEP Meeting Alert Levels
If you've had a child in special education for very long -- and even if the experience has been mostly good -- chances are you've had a moment at an IEP meeting that has made your jaw drop. Tell your tale of IEP woe. Share Your Story

Find your local advocates!!

I am reading these responses as I too am frustrated with this system. The only thing that keeps me from blowing a gasket about all these games hoops and fires they put is through, is knowing that there are other parents who have good kids who are just different. I will keep my opinions to myself about the education system and the absolute havoc they wreak because it doesn't solve anything. I have a 3rd grader who has Tourette's and with that comes OCD and others 'behavior' issues. Now my child is not perfect, or an angel, but he is not malicious and spiteful unless provoked. This iep case manager we have dealt with, had labeled him, bullied him by threatening him that he would go to another school, but when she talks to my husband and I she turns a different leaf. Until we experienced her turning on us, we thought our son was telling stories about her. Please LISTEN to your child!!! This woman has tried to railroad us any way she politely can. It stopped when we contacted local advocat
—Guest Rebecca

IEP Try 6

Hi Again, Going to daughters 5 th IEP in less then 1.5 years. Found out case manager didn't understand that having dyslexic daughters instructions, questions and test read to her in the reading recourse room, meant the case manager or para was to read it to the daughter. They were having my daughter read it to them. Very close to homeschooling again. Figure we are maybe paving a better road for the next LD kids that come onto her caseload down the road. If this IEP doesn't work it will be a due process issue. I have notified case manager supervisor, principal and soon to be District supervisors of concerns. Email and make a paper trail everything parents! Then run copies off for your own book. Its sort of a sad, humorous nightmare genre.
—Guest Mary

New to IEP's

At my daughters LD IEP, I and my husband were on the opposite side of the long conference table. The new teacher, the case manager, the social worker, the psychologist and the principal aligned themselves neatly on the other side. I had asked that my daughter not be removed during upper math "switch" time to do more reading/writing work (2nd time a day), but they kept insisting that it was a good time to take her, because she was "good at math." I painfully had to explain to them that math was the only thing she liked and was good at, or at least felt like she was good at, until they kept pulling her from the math lessons. The new teacher was squimish of me, because I had requested a different one, because the old one refused to reduce spelling list, or have directions and paragraphs read (even though it was an IEP accommodation). I pulled DD her to homeschool her and the district has made promises, but the IEP case manager continues to be very unhelpful.
—Guest Mary

SO SAD

As I read these I was depressed to think that these things are going on in these children's lives. I hope everyone takes the appropriate actions to improve the lives of these children. Teachers need to be more empathetic and understand the parents and children they are caring for. Compassion goes further then insults and put downs.
—Jessica.O

Is this legal

My 12 year old son has an IEP in place, and it states that if he is having a bad day before school I can keep him home . I now have a letter stating that he may be put on probation for missing school.
—Guest Angela

IEP horror story

Since Oct. I have been dealing with the high school over my son's special bus. the director of special needs took the bus by holding a meeting which was not an IEP, but I was told was one and then realized that the school was not being honest,the IEP date did not match for the one year review, so I did not attend because I wanted a lawyer and the staff of MORC which assist in my sons health. the meeting was held the special bus was removed which has been my sons transportation to school and I do not own a car which led to absenses and after the 7th absense the school counselor reported me to prosecutors office and now I face a warrent for my arrest and my son being taken away from me in family court. I have rented vehicles and asked everyone I know to help drive my son to school and my son and I walked 5 miles one morning two weeks ago in the bitter cold so he could attend and now the school has sent a letter to hold an IEP by the end of the month.
—Guest Rev Odom

IEPs only good when you have an attorney

We had the school psychologist call my son names during his testing. Then during the IEP mtg. the director came in and after everyone left pulled us aside to offer another to put my kid in a different school, no services just a different school, and one that was in negotiations for being closed for performance issues. As long as we signed off on the IEP. I was so confused how she thought this would make us happy. I learned quickly audio tape all your meetings, you may need to take legal action and if you do having everything on tape is helpful.
—Guest mom2two

IEP isnt helping...

My 8-year-old has a lot of disorders. Well our last IEP meeting they kept blaming the medication. And that they don't see any problem and that it's a good thing he doesn't explode during class and waits till he gets home to explode and hurt himself and scream and cry. If he does it at school he gets yelled at and clip moved down and has to walk laps in front of the other students. He has a mood disorder broken down he has depression, anxiety, self esteem, self image, ADHD and so much more. Can you imagine how he feels? And they blame it on his medicine that he just started at that time LOL. Gotta love our education system.
—Guest Mother

Fed Up with the system.

My son at 6 was identified with a severe language/reading disability. Before he was identified through testing, his kindergarten teacher suggested he might MID and should be transferred to an Intensiv Support Class at a different school than his two siblings. She then followed that with a comment. I should point him the direction of a trade as an adult as that's where the money is and not everyone is an academic. I was floored. Who makes that kind of a judgement call on a child who hasn't even been identified in junior kindergarten? She then pointed out that she knew what she was talking about because she had two degrees. In the end, she was dead wrong and he has a severe form of dyslexia as well as ADHD. She is now spearheading a move to place him in an ISP class for LD's in a different school. I don't want to send him, but everytime I meet with her "team" they gang up on me about meeting his needs. So discouraging :(
—Guest Erin Williams

Where do I begin??

My son has Dyspraxia and at one meeting his speech teacher was reading through the IEP and she found a mistake. She said, and I quote "I guess I shouldn't written this while I was watching TV" Last month at my son's open house his teacher told me his work was hanging in the corner of the classroom. I went over and saw that his special education teacher wrote the last part of the report for my son. It makes me so sad that they have such low expecatations for him. I have a meeting next week and things are going to change!
—Guest Mary

Child with autism thrown out of school

My 9-year-old child was thrown out of school for getting upset in class and screaming because of OCD issues, had a CSE meeting last week and they told me not to bring her back to school. She is now homebound ... she was in an 8.1.1 last year doing great, now they put her in a 12.1.1 ... it's a disaster! They did not know what they were doing with her. I was told at the CSE last week they wanted to send her to a kid's pyschiatric autism day program for a month outpatient educational evaluation. It's an hour away from home back and forth or longer bus ride, in order to get accepted they need a psych evaluation done, so school paid for it and the doctor was against the school and said it's not for my 9-year-old daughter. I lost my job, I'm a single mom, I get no family respite or support and the father lives in another state so i don't get a break. I'm calling everyone. It's now my new full-time job calling advocacy agencies, state special edu departments, you name it, i call it. It's crazy, I'm going crazy!
—Guest Patricia

Not helpful

3rd grade daughter has IEP for LD. I requested reduced spelling list this week. The teacher agreed. Then IEP manager came in and had daughter practice the words I wanted left out during math time, and then after spelling test had her write them again, and then tested her on them. Working on where to go from here. Can't imagine the problems we would have if we weren't this great "team."
—Guest Mary

IT'S THE LAW

First, I am so sorry for all of you that have such horrific stories regarding IEP meetings. What is important to remember is that everything regarding your child's education and IEP is THE LAW! You have a right to be involved and know everything! And a lot of things need parent consent! Read your State Special Education Process Handbook for details of your state's law. Contact your Dept of Education. Under law, EVERY CHILD HAS THE RIGHT TO FREE AND APPROPRIATE EDUCATION!! Don't let these meetings get you in tears. The purpose is to help your child excel academically. And if that is not happening MAKE IT HAPPEN!
—Guest STUDENT

Exodus 31:3

Hi my name is Melissa I was reading all these stories and it is good to know I am not alone. When I was a little girl, at age 7yrs old I was having a lot of difficulties in school, especially in reading. So my parents made an appointment with the board of education in Florida. The experts of education said I would never learn like a normal child. I would never learn how to draw, swim, ride horses, do math, read, write, color. My dad started to cry and I never found out about what they had said about me twenty-years later. But before that meeting my mom woke up that morning and she started to pray in the living, the hallway and my bedroom. Then all of sudden she saw these arch of wings and that inspired her to open the Bible to Exodus 31:3-4, "I have filled him with the spirit of God, giving him great wisdom, ability, and expertise in all kinds of crafts." 20 years later I am a few months from getting Bachelors of Graphic Design.
—Guest Melissa Barulli

Staff Doing what's Convenient for them

It is interesting to be on both sides of the desk. My daughter is in junior high and has had 2 different labels. She is LD. Their solution to her math issues is to place her in a classroom with students that are severely mentally impaired and most are non-verbal. I have voiced concern and have been met with the team "ganging" up on my husband and I. My administrator has approached me about my feelings and implies that I should simply trust the team and stop being defensive. He is making my professional life very uncomfortable as I prevent the school from directing my daughter towards a very worthless educational experience. The issue is that the goals in her IEP do not match what is being done and her classwork is not being individualized. This is impacting my work environment at the same time. How do I tackle this?
—Guest Dual Role

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What's the Most Outrageous Thing That's Happened to You at an IEP Meeting?

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